I have decided to share a very sad story about a family member. I won't discuss my relationship to this person, their name, or go into great detail for privacy.This individual experienced a very sudden loss; when at the age of 10 their father committed suicide. The events leading up to this were also very terrible. This individual witnessed fights, drinking, and was the victim of verbal and physical abuse.
This individual is now 16 years old and in many ways is thriving. He is a good student, member of the swim team, has a job (recently named employee of the month), and is very caring. But I do see behavior that can only be directly related to what he went through. He is terrified of being away from his mother. He has severe anxiety, trouble sleeping, and his digestive system is often in distress when he is upset or sometimes for no specific reason at all. He often feels like he has to take care of everyone and everything. And he is often bullied at school about his situation.
According the CDC, surviving the loss of loved one to suicide is a risk factor for suicide.This worries me a great deal. But I feel this person is strong and with love and support he will be just fine. The Alliance of Hope writes, "it is important to know that people can and do survive loss by suicide.
They are forever altered and may never stop missing their loved ones,
but they do survive and go on to lead meaningful and contributory lives." This organization also discusses PTSD in survivors. Below is a list of symptoms that a survivor with PTSD could exhibit on a severe/lasting level:
• Distressing recollections of the death
• Distressing dreams about the event
• A feeling of reliving the experience
• Feeling numb
• Feeling emotionally detached from other people
• Always feeling "on guard"
• Difficulty working
• Difficulty in social situations
• Difficulty falling or staying asleep
• Irritability or outbursts of anger
• Difficulty concentrating
• Hyper-vigilance
SUICIDE IN OTHER PARTS OF THE WORLD
"Throughout the last decade of the twentieth century, Lithuania had the
highest suicide rates in Europe among both men and women aged 25–64
years. The rates increased from 1986 until 1995, but later there was a
slight decrease" (Tamosiuanas, 2006).
In my research, I found that economic status and location (rural living) were a factor. I was not able to find any information regarding statistics on the effects on children.This may because of the typical age range.
Tamosiunas, A. (2006). BMC Public Health.Trends in suicide in a Lithuanian urban population over the period 1984–2003. Retrieved from http://www.biomedcentral.com/1471-2458/6/184
Thanks so much for sharing this difficult story. I also have known a few close friends that have dealt with the loss of a loved one by suicide. While I can see a lot of the symptoms listed in your post with one of my friends, I have not seen many with the other. That makes me wonder if he is feeling those things but keeps them very hidden. I also wonder if he is just dealing with the loss in a different way.
ReplyDeleteDarcie,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate you for sharing a story that I am sure others can relate to within their own families or friends, I pray for continued success with this young man; he sounds like an amazing individual. I am glad you shed some new light on a issue that is usually kept secretive.
Darcie, Thanks for sharing. I have a girlfriend that lost her father to suicide. She doesn't talk about it much since it happened so long ago but in my research I found that , in the United States, annually 7,000-12,000 children lose a parent each year. Losing a parent to suicide at an early age may preclude psychiatric or suicide disorders but studies have shown that just because the children are at a greater risk most do not die from suicide. (Nauert, 2010).
ReplyDeleteReferNauert, R. (2010). Parental Suicide Places Child at Risk. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 30, 2013, from http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/04/22/parental-suicide-places-child-at-risk/13062.html
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Thank you for sharing this link and statistic.
DeleteKaren,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate you sharing this sad story. It makes you realize how blessed some children are and pray even harder for those who have mishaps in their life. Children are very near and dear to me. I wish no child to go through such troubling times. I. can only imagine what this has truly done to him. Thanks again for sharing!